Ehh, I don't really hate my family. Just dislike them sometimes.
Hmm, what happened on Friday? Chatted to some extremely hot guy during science, was fun. Can't really remember that much. After school, my friend and I were dickheads and ran after this other really hot guy in our year, y'know not in a stalker way... in a jokey way *ahem*
At about 6pm I met up with my friends at the bus stop and we went to this restaurant that I'm totally in LOVE with. Seriously, one day I will make love to that place and marry it. It's like a really cool, New York/Italian restaurant place, kinda like a diner but better, the food is awesome and they play all these good old American songs... All I can remember is Elvis. And the birthday song. That must have come on about 5 times, but I danced along every time. I went with my 3 other friends. When they waitress came along for our meals I got nervous and ordered the wrong thing... some gross green, mushroomy pasta. Sick yeh.
But desert I had Mama's Chocolate Cake: SEX!!!
Totally!!
Then eventually we went home, got the bus back. The girl that's kinda stealing my best friend though I sometimes like her was with us and she's just annoying me (and everyone else) now. Apart from my 'best friend'. Well, I was kinda hyped, drunk on air on the way home with my other friend that went and gave her all these people to walk like (Frank Iero - A ballerina, for example).
Then when we got to our street (we live on the same street) we pretended some fucking T-Rex was after us and ran down till we got to her house and I stayed there till about 11pm or sommat.
Then todayyyy, I was meant to go to Chesington Park today for my younger brothers birthday and was extremely unexcited, but for some reason we didn't go... but we're going tomorrow! Let's hope it rains...
So I went out with my friends and ended up getting poo on my new jeans and had a little spazz about it. Eventually it came off. Joy. Then my best friend (I don't know whether to refer to her as my best friend or as my 'best friend' because she is my best friend it's just confusing, because, I dunno, yeah... I have no idea) asked this guy out that she's been like adoring for the past year, seriously every phone conversation he was mentioned at least 199553243252 times.
He said yes. She was happy. They kissed. I had a spazz. Danced with the man. Gave him 'The Talk'. He was scared.
I kept getting hugs from the very first guy that I wrote about in this blog, remember the one who I said 'I'm in love with him.. Nahh.. It's probably a phase.' Yeah, that one. And it was really cute and it made it look like we were going out with each other, he kept having his arm round me and I rested my head on his shoulder, holding his hand.
We would be so hot together.
Ahh, I love him.
But I bet he don't 'love' me.
Life sucks.
Whatever, apparently he used to like me in like the first year of high school.
I was retarded then.
I still am.
But now, I'm a cool retard.
Yeah, love it babeh.
Saturday, 29 September 2007
Thursday, 27 September 2007
i hope you choke and you die
I officially hate my family.
Seriously. My 'dad' I always hate. My 'mum' I sometimes hate. My older brother I sometimes hate, but my younger brother I love.
I swear. We're eating dinner (my older brother isn't there) and my younger brother is asking these questions, for some reason I get blamed for making him hyperactive. Then after sticking up for myself, I get told off for annoying everyone when 'dad' has been carrying on for about 10 minutes about how everyone always talks at dinner and how we should all just shut the hell up.
Then I get called evil. My mother steps in, tells him that I'm not evil. Then he says I'm just a selfish little bitch. Then tells me to stop creating a bad atmosphere at the table, I say, actually you started it, blah blah blah.
"GO TO YOUR ROOM! YOU CAN COME DOWN AND EAT YOUR FOOD WHEN EVERYONE ELSE HAS FINISHED, GO NOW! I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR FACE! NO MORE COMPUTER OR TELEVISION PAST EIGHT O CLOCK! LEAVE!"
Wtf?
Like I said; I hate my family.
Seriously. My 'dad' I always hate. My 'mum' I sometimes hate. My older brother I sometimes hate, but my younger brother I love.
I swear. We're eating dinner (my older brother isn't there) and my younger brother is asking these questions, for some reason I get blamed for making him hyperactive. Then after sticking up for myself, I get told off for annoying everyone when 'dad' has been carrying on for about 10 minutes about how everyone always talks at dinner and how we should all just shut the hell up.
Then I get called evil. My mother steps in, tells him that I'm not evil. Then he says I'm just a selfish little bitch. Then tells me to stop creating a bad atmosphere at the table, I say, actually you started it, blah blah blah.
"GO TO YOUR ROOM! YOU CAN COME DOWN AND EAT YOUR FOOD WHEN EVERYONE ELSE HAS FINISHED, GO NOW! I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR FACE! NO MORE COMPUTER OR TELEVISION PAST EIGHT O CLOCK! LEAVE!"
Wtf?
Like I said; I hate my family.
Wednesday, 26 September 2007
un-break my heart, say you love me again, un-do this hurt that you caused!
Wooooah bitches! Today has been surprisingly bloody fantastic!
I woke up at like 7:45 giving me about 15 minutes to get ready for school, I really need to wake up earlier but whatever, I got to my friends house on time and the walk there was hilarious. It was me and these two other girls. We were bare hyped.
We were crossing this main road and then this van came speeding down and my friend decided she could make it and got to the other side of the road and started laughing hilariously, then I decided I could make it if I ran, I tried too, but my other friend was like "NOOO! YOU'LL DIE!" So yeah, that happened. Then up the road a bit, I missed some dog crap by an inch or something and I just like died laughing for some reason.
The rest of the day was full of laughing, acting like a spaz and flirting... The flirting ;) I love it!
I dunno, I'm starting to like this other guy and I have liked him for a while now. He's the kinda guy where I don't get stuck for conversation with like I do with some other guys. He says I'm 'safe' and shizz. He's gorgeous. BUT, there's a problem. There's always a problem. I've liked him for a couple of weeks now but only a couple of days ago my friend told me she really likes him and she told him, he said sorry, but I don't like you (in kinder words), but she will NOT give up! And keeps telling me to talk about her to him and I can't stop flirting with the guy! It's too hard!
But we would never go out with one another, never. It's like I'm part of the so-called 'grunger/emo' crowd and he's part of the popular, sporty crowd. He's not a chav but he has chavvy friends, but whatever, so do I! But like, I dunno, I really like him and it's so hard not to kiss him even though I don't know how!
He's great! On photo day a week ago or something we have this stupid, popular, 'pretty' chavvy/preppy girl in our science class (the only class we share but we talk outside of it, the boy and I, I mean) and she put like foundation, fake-tan, blusher, eyeliner, mascara, Vaseline, concealer, eyeshadow, lipstick and lip gloss on. It's bad, terribly bad. Though most guys don't seem to think so *eye roll*. Then to me and a few other people he was like, "God, what does she look like? She told me she never wears make-up, she looks stupid." Which is pretty good for a popular dude.
Then to me he was like, "You don't wear much make-up do you?"
And I was like, "Well, I wear a bit sometimes, but I can't be fucked to put on concealer because it just makes spots more obvious..." I mean, I don't have acne, but I get the regular spots, especially around my 'time of the month' but on other times it's like 'WOAH! YOUR SKIN... IT'S AMAZING!' But when I'm on my period it's like 'AGHHH!!!' But anyway, then he was like "Yeah, I understand it, it just makes them worse. No make-up is better."
And I was like, "Have I ever told you I Love You?"
And then he was like, "No, but- but, oh c'mere!" Then we snogged and made love in the science labs. It was sexy.
...Oh my fantasy's!
Anyway, other then that, the only other clear memory about today in my mind was what happened after school. My friend and me were walking home from school to her house, then when we got there (none of her family was in the house) we heard footsteps and a bang of doors from upstairs and like looked at each other, unlocked the door and ran out the house screaming, it was effing hilarious! But my friend was oh-so freaked! Then these guys we know came and they were like, "WE WILL SAVE THE DAY!" But yeah, they were also pussy's and ran down the stairs screaming like some little girls when they heard a bang of doors. This happened about 10 times.
It turned out to be the fucking bathroom door slamming open and closed from the open window.
But that was hilarious, then after we just sat watching MTV and Kerrang! on the telly, drinking a good cuppa and bitching about girls.
Seriously, there's this girl and she has big boobs. Fact. Guys go up to her and like flirt and perv on her, she's like "OMG! STOP IT!" But lets them carry on and it's getting fucking ridiculous, it's like, God, they do it to EVERYONE, even me and my boobs aren't that big! If you don't like it walk away and tell them to leave you alone. Then they stop. It works for everyone.
Jeez.
Oh and one more thing about this whole GWay business, (I swear, my writing about it will not become a regular thing, I don't wanna contradict myself about the whole business) but I was thinking and it's like the bloggers want there to be drama, they post all the time and it's like, they want stuff to happen... I dunno, I'm not them, they might not want it. It's their lives. End. I will not write again... or y'know, I might!
Loverz you dudes!
I woke up at like 7:45 giving me about 15 minutes to get ready for school, I really need to wake up earlier but whatever, I got to my friends house on time and the walk there was hilarious. It was me and these two other girls. We were bare hyped.
We were crossing this main road and then this van came speeding down and my friend decided she could make it and got to the other side of the road and started laughing hilariously, then I decided I could make it if I ran, I tried too, but my other friend was like "NOOO! YOU'LL DIE!" So yeah, that happened. Then up the road a bit, I missed some dog crap by an inch or something and I just like died laughing for some reason.
The rest of the day was full of laughing, acting like a spaz and flirting... The flirting ;) I love it!
I dunno, I'm starting to like this other guy and I have liked him for a while now. He's the kinda guy where I don't get stuck for conversation with like I do with some other guys. He says I'm 'safe' and shizz. He's gorgeous. BUT, there's a problem. There's always a problem. I've liked him for a couple of weeks now but only a couple of days ago my friend told me she really likes him and she told him, he said sorry, but I don't like you (in kinder words), but she will NOT give up! And keeps telling me to talk about her to him and I can't stop flirting with the guy! It's too hard!
But we would never go out with one another, never. It's like I'm part of the so-called 'grunger/emo' crowd and he's part of the popular, sporty crowd. He's not a chav but he has chavvy friends, but whatever, so do I! But like, I dunno, I really like him and it's so hard not to kiss him even though I don't know how!
He's great! On photo day a week ago or something we have this stupid, popular, 'pretty' chavvy/preppy girl in our science class (the only class we share but we talk outside of it, the boy and I, I mean) and she put like foundation, fake-tan, blusher, eyeliner, mascara, Vaseline, concealer, eyeshadow, lipstick and lip gloss on. It's bad, terribly bad. Though most guys don't seem to think so *eye roll*. Then to me and a few other people he was like, "God, what does she look like? She told me she never wears make-up, she looks stupid." Which is pretty good for a popular dude.
Then to me he was like, "You don't wear much make-up do you?"
And I was like, "Well, I wear a bit sometimes, but I can't be fucked to put on concealer because it just makes spots more obvious..." I mean, I don't have acne, but I get the regular spots, especially around my 'time of the month' but on other times it's like 'WOAH! YOUR SKIN... IT'S AMAZING!' But when I'm on my period it's like 'AGHHH!!!' But anyway, then he was like "Yeah, I understand it, it just makes them worse. No make-up is better."
And I was like, "Have I ever told you I Love You?"
And then he was like, "No, but- but, oh c'mere!" Then we snogged and made love in the science labs. It was sexy.
...Oh my fantasy's!
Anyway, other then that, the only other clear memory about today in my mind was what happened after school. My friend and me were walking home from school to her house, then when we got there (none of her family was in the house) we heard footsteps and a bang of doors from upstairs and like looked at each other, unlocked the door and ran out the house screaming, it was effing hilarious! But my friend was oh-so freaked! Then these guys we know came and they were like, "WE WILL SAVE THE DAY!" But yeah, they were also pussy's and ran down the stairs screaming like some little girls when they heard a bang of doors. This happened about 10 times.
It turned out to be the fucking bathroom door slamming open and closed from the open window.
But that was hilarious, then after we just sat watching MTV and Kerrang! on the telly, drinking a good cuppa and bitching about girls.
Seriously, there's this girl and she has big boobs. Fact. Guys go up to her and like flirt and perv on her, she's like "OMG! STOP IT!" But lets them carry on and it's getting fucking ridiculous, it's like, God, they do it to EVERYONE, even me and my boobs aren't that big! If you don't like it walk away and tell them to leave you alone. Then they stop. It works for everyone.
Jeez.
Oh and one more thing about this whole GWay business, (I swear, my writing about it will not become a regular thing, I don't wanna contradict myself about the whole business) but I was thinking and it's like the bloggers want there to be drama, they post all the time and it's like, they want stuff to happen... I dunno, I'm not them, they might not want it. It's their lives. End. I will not write again... or y'know, I might!
Loverz you dudes!
Tuesday, 25 September 2007
i just gotta get off my chest, that i think your divine...
Jesus, I still don't know how to start off today's blog, I've re-written it about 5 times... My thoughts are scattered everywhere today, feeling multiple emotions and just plain confused.
I'm not quite sure if one of those MCR bloggers was referring to myself in my last blog, I don't know, I didn't even know anyone read this blog or whatever. Which if anybody does, feels kinda weird, I dunno. It's like a diary I have on a computer which I assume generally people won't read seeing how I've barely commented on anyone elses blogs. I don't even know how to find other blogs! Apart from the links people have sent me or sommat... This place is confusing.
I also had a random thought about going as Super Mario for Halloween. Yeah, I'm sad! I go trick or treating! Woah, a 15 year old trick or treater... Too cool! But yeah, I think that'd be might cool and apparently my friends having a Halloween party on the Saturday as Halloweens on a Wednesday. And that spectacular day is also Frank Ieros birthday! Guess what? My teenie friends are going as Gerard and Frank for Halloween! How amazingly stupid!
Hmm, I used to like this one guy and told my friend. She told him I used to like him today and I was like 'And the point of saying that was...?' and she was like 'He was threatening he wouldn't hug me anymore!' Seriously. Never telling that girl anything again, this is definitely not the first time either, she constantly tells embarrassing shizz about myself and it's like, nobody asked to hear that you just had to tell them you attention seeker.
Woah, bitchy much? But yeah, I still like the girl cos it's too hard not to like her when she apologises and looks really sorry so *hug* to the girl.
I'm also starting to like this other guy again, the one I told you about ages ago. But I dunno, he's too good a friend and it's so gah, con-fucking-fusing. I really don't get life anymore.
It's too shit and gahh...
This blog is pointless so I'm leaving it here.
I loff you mofos, you keep me (in)sane.
I'm not quite sure if one of those MCR bloggers was referring to myself in my last blog, I don't know, I didn't even know anyone read this blog or whatever. Which if anybody does, feels kinda weird, I dunno. It's like a diary I have on a computer which I assume generally people won't read seeing how I've barely commented on anyone elses blogs. I don't even know how to find other blogs! Apart from the links people have sent me or sommat... This place is confusing.
I also had a random thought about going as Super Mario for Halloween. Yeah, I'm sad! I go trick or treating! Woah, a 15 year old trick or treater... Too cool! But yeah, I think that'd be might cool and apparently my friends having a Halloween party on the Saturday as Halloweens on a Wednesday. And that spectacular day is also Frank Ieros birthday! Guess what? My teenie friends are going as Gerard and Frank for Halloween! How amazingly stupid!
Hmm, I used to like this one guy and told my friend. She told him I used to like him today and I was like 'And the point of saying that was...?' and she was like 'He was threatening he wouldn't hug me anymore!' Seriously. Never telling that girl anything again, this is definitely not the first time either, she constantly tells embarrassing shizz about myself and it's like, nobody asked to hear that you just had to tell them you attention seeker.
Woah, bitchy much? But yeah, I still like the girl cos it's too hard not to like her when she apologises and looks really sorry so *hug* to the girl.
I'm also starting to like this other guy again, the one I told you about ages ago. But I dunno, he's too good a friend and it's so gah, con-fucking-fusing. I really don't get life anymore.
It's too shit and gahh...
This blog is pointless so I'm leaving it here.
I loff you mofos, you keep me (in)sane.
Monday, 24 September 2007
give me all your poison and give me all your pills...
Not much to say for today, it was okay. Nothing special, nothing shitty.
I just came to say that I am sick and fucking tired of all these stupid blogs about My Chemical Romance or, more importantly Gerard Fucking Way. Seriously Jesus Christ, there's more people coming and doing them every single day. At least 3 more posts from the regular bloggers, more drama that's happened in a day when they aren't even a friend, or an onlooker to the band so how would they know what's happened?
"Get this: GERARD GOT JAMIA PREGNANT and I know this because somebody wrote about this and they say that they're an insider so it's DEFINITELY true!"
What did Gerard say a random remark about alcohol whilst on stage?
Oh shit, he is so an alcoholic again. I mean an insider said they saw him with bloodshot eyes! It's just a matter of minutes before he cracks...
Yeah, we know he's going through all this stupid woman trouble. LynZ, Kat, Eliza. And because all of the more older, hardcore fans who care about the band oh-so-much more are gonna write blogs about it and spread more rumours, drama and negative feelings every things gonna get better. I don't think a bunch of blogs shows your appreciation for a band and that you're willing to help this 'troubled' man. I doubt he's gonna care or read them loves. You're just worrying other fans.
Everyone seems to instantly believe that which ever blogger drops a hint of says something 'insider-like' (for lack of a better word), that they're who they say -or hint- they are. Okay, fine, I'm bloody Freddie Mercury, back from the dead baby!
*wtf? o_O*
I'm sorry, it's just all so stupid.
And y'know, if someone ever finds this blog and starts reading it they're gonna instantly correctly write in all these metaphores that I never understand that I'm a teenie and I'm getting angry at people for caring about the band. No, I'm not a teenie, thanks.
No, I don't wanna sleep with the band.
Yeah, I love their music.
No, I don't believe the fucking sun shines out of Gerard Ways fucking arse.
I haven't left messages in other bloggers who write these blogs comment box telling them they're stupid, cos it's not like I'm going to stop them and if they wanna carry it on then fucking let them. I personally think it's a waste of time and stupid.
I once left a few comments in some bloggers comment box when I first found out all this drama existed, I found them quite interesting and thought maybe, just maybe they were actually telling the truth. Then I realised that they were all probably a bunch of fans. They made me lose 'that much' faith in them, then I after didn't really care, if any of the boys are going through a hard time, I doubt they want their fan base trying to find out things in their personal life. Cos we're gonna make it all better...
But like bloggers say or hint 'metaphorically', they're better fans because they care and worry about the poor boys and everyone else who disagrees with them are all teenies.
Yeah, I just worry about my life and my loved ones lives, thanks.
Does that make me not a real fan though? Probably in most peoples eyes.
And comparing Gerard to Kurt Cobain? Wow, you know -or knew- neither and you're creating other much un-needed drama.
Remember kiddies, don't believe everything you read ;)
I just came to say that I am sick and fucking tired of all these stupid blogs about My Chemical Romance or, more importantly Gerard Fucking Way. Seriously Jesus Christ, there's more people coming and doing them every single day. At least 3 more posts from the regular bloggers, more drama that's happened in a day when they aren't even a friend, or an onlooker to the band so how would they know what's happened?
"Get this: GERARD GOT JAMIA PREGNANT and I know this because somebody wrote about this and they say that they're an insider so it's DEFINITELY true!"
What did Gerard say a random remark about alcohol whilst on stage?
Oh shit, he is so an alcoholic again. I mean an insider said they saw him with bloodshot eyes! It's just a matter of minutes before he cracks...
Yeah, we know he's going through all this stupid woman trouble. LynZ, Kat, Eliza. And because all of the more older, hardcore fans who care about the band oh-so-much more are gonna write blogs about it and spread more rumours, drama and negative feelings every things gonna get better. I don't think a bunch of blogs shows your appreciation for a band and that you're willing to help this 'troubled' man. I doubt he's gonna care or read them loves. You're just worrying other fans.
Everyone seems to instantly believe that which ever blogger drops a hint of says something 'insider-like' (for lack of a better word), that they're who they say -or hint- they are. Okay, fine, I'm bloody Freddie Mercury, back from the dead baby!
*wtf? o_O*
I'm sorry, it's just all so stupid.
And y'know, if someone ever finds this blog and starts reading it they're gonna instantly correctly write in all these metaphores that I never understand that I'm a teenie and I'm getting angry at people for caring about the band. No, I'm not a teenie, thanks.
No, I don't wanna sleep with the band.
Yeah, I love their music.
No, I don't believe the fucking sun shines out of Gerard Ways fucking arse.
I haven't left messages in other bloggers who write these blogs comment box telling them they're stupid, cos it's not like I'm going to stop them and if they wanna carry it on then fucking let them. I personally think it's a waste of time and stupid.
I once left a few comments in some bloggers comment box when I first found out all this drama existed, I found them quite interesting and thought maybe, just maybe they were actually telling the truth. Then I realised that they were all probably a bunch of fans. They made me lose 'that much' faith in them, then I after didn't really care, if any of the boys are going through a hard time, I doubt they want their fan base trying to find out things in their personal life. Cos we're gonna make it all better...
But like bloggers say or hint 'metaphorically', they're better fans because they care and worry about the poor boys and everyone else who disagrees with them are all teenies.
Yeah, I just worry about my life and my loved ones lives, thanks.
Does that make me not a real fan though? Probably in most peoples eyes.
And comparing Gerard to Kurt Cobain? Wow, you know -or knew- neither and you're creating other much un-needed drama.
Remember kiddies, don't believe everything you read ;)
Sunday, 23 September 2007
someone call the ambulance
As all you sexy people who don't read this blog know I went to my friends yesterday wearing my new black skinny jeans, The Used t-shirt, black hoody and my infamous comic converses. I walked there without getting assaulted. Got jumped on by the birthday girl when I arrived and eventually all the other people got there, then at I think about 8pm we went out in search of safe people, booze and fun.
Oh yes, you heard right, I'm an under aged rebel!
Then we met up with all these other kids and had a little too much to drink from the beer we bought at some shop, went round to some girls house but then her mother who is like some total beast kicked us out and we went to some field and sung Happy Birthday.
Eventually the people who were sleeping over at the girls house (4 girls, inc. birthday girl and 3 dudes). We made a tent of cushions and duvets for our bed, got into our PJ's, had chocolate wars, laughed, pissed about, played dares, watched some sex movie and got yelled at for making too much noise.
It was beyond jokes.
Yeah, I think we all went to sleep at about 4am and then, woke up about 11am, most of us in some very suggestive positions. Me spooning with this sexy mofo. Everyone was moaning about headaches or needing coffee but I was happily happy, I don't get hangovers.
Jealous? You should be.
Highlight of the week: Sleepover, sexy friends and buying CDs.
Bummer of the week: Exams, parents and arrogant people who act like they own the freakin world.
Oh yes, you heard right, I'm an under aged rebel!
Then we met up with all these other kids and had a little too much to drink from the beer we bought at some shop, went round to some girls house but then her mother who is like some total beast kicked us out and we went to some field and sung Happy Birthday.
Eventually the people who were sleeping over at the girls house (4 girls, inc. birthday girl and 3 dudes). We made a tent of cushions and duvets for our bed, got into our PJ's, had chocolate wars, laughed, pissed about, played dares, watched some sex movie and got yelled at for making too much noise.
It was beyond jokes.
Yeah, I think we all went to sleep at about 4am and then, woke up about 11am, most of us in some very suggestive positions. Me spooning with this sexy mofo. Everyone was moaning about headaches or needing coffee but I was happily happy, I don't get hangovers.
Jealous? You should be.
Highlight of the week: Sleepover, sexy friends and buying CDs.
Bummer of the week: Exams, parents and arrogant people who act like they own the freakin world.
Saturday, 22 September 2007
it's in the pills that bring you up
Woah. These past two days have been way eventful, seriously. In good ways and bad.
Yesterday, I got the 'guts' well not really, but I messaged my friend on myspace and was like, do you still like me blah blah blah, cos I wouldn't want (the girl that brought the feeling of 'replacement' on me) to get between us and she was like NO! I HEART YOU! So everythings all good with that!
Then, the same girl that I messaged later rung me and told me that her father gave her his old mobile as hers had broken and she was looking through the folders and messages. There were no messages in the inbox, but in the sent folder there was some sent to 'Mic'. My friend looked at them, there were three. (Note my friends parents have been married for over twenty years)
One read: 'Hey sexy'
One read: Kim forever and ever and ever. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
One read: Get ready for the most pleasurable night of your life, something about opening your legs (my friend told me half of it on the phone, but she said it was so disgusting and was crying at the time so I told her to not read anymore)
Then my friend, while we were on the phone said that she had rung this 'Mic' up, my friends parents are also in their early fifties, but y'know, they're like fit and healthy for their age. And the conversation went like this:
Woman, who sounded older and friendly: Hello?
Friend: Hi, err, is Mick there? (She didn't know if it was Mike or Mick from how it was written)
(5 second pause)
Woman: I, um, think you have the wrong number dear.
Friend: Okay, bye...
She was in fucking TEARS. Seriously, I love this girl so much, it broke my heart. She's my best friend and I so wanted to see her there and then to comfort her but I've never been in one of these positions before and I didn't know how to comfort someone over the phone! But in the end I told her to tell her sister who's away for the weekend and will be coming back on Sunday night who's 17 because she shouldn't deal with this all herself. God, her father seems like so NOT the type who would do anything like this...
ALSO, yesterday night there was like this school event called Presentation Evening, where not everyone, but some people would go if you got good effort marks in a particular subject, I got English, which made me happy. I went, my friend with the parent problem was also meant to go and she told me not to mention anything at the evening about her father and I said I wouldn't and then through the whole 2 tedious hours of sitting in the same seat she didn't arrive and I was going through all these little things that could be happening at that moment and I was scared as hell. I swear. God. BUT I got some good news about that! This guy whose about 17 who's so overly hot and gahh, (none of my friends agree, since he has a bit weird hair and is a bit chubby and apparently has no neck) but yeah, he played a piano piece and I was dying watching him and the whole hall was black except the spotlight on him and I was like <3333 *orgasm*
Rung my friend when I got home from it and she just faked sick, so that was good. Or not.
Then TODAY, I went shopping with my mother and it was actually quite good! She let me blare My Chemical Romance out loud and was fine with it, then when we got to the shopping centre I bought a pair of black skinny jeans, a black top, a white top and a Placebo CD and some sexy Millie's cookies which were sex rolled up into dough. Yeah it was good.
But there was this stupid bitch with this kid when I was standing in this parking space for my mum to come round again, cos she'd crapped something up in the parking lot and the convo went like this:
Me: Oh my mums just coming round again to park in this sorry.
Woman: Wells she's not here.
Me: Yeah, well she's coming so you have to find your own spot I'm afraid.
Woman: Don't get lippy with me!
Me: *stares at her till she drives away*
SAFE! I BEAT HER LIKE WOAH!
Well, that's about it, now I have to be at my other friends house for a birthday sleepover. I got her some weird card with a googly eyed llama and a porn book. xD I'm like too good, yeah?! I really can't be fucked to walk, it's too far, but my mums gone out and wont be back for a while so I have to walk through some fucking town and I'll probally be raped or verbally abused by the time I get to friends house.
Yeah, well, I had a good run.
Yesterday, I got the 'guts' well not really, but I messaged my friend on myspace and was like, do you still like me blah blah blah, cos I wouldn't want (the girl that brought the feeling of 'replacement' on me) to get between us and she was like NO! I HEART YOU! So everythings all good with that!
Then, the same girl that I messaged later rung me and told me that her father gave her his old mobile as hers had broken and she was looking through the folders and messages. There were no messages in the inbox, but in the sent folder there was some sent to 'Mic'. My friend looked at them, there were three. (Note my friends parents have been married for over twenty years)
One read: 'Hey sexy'
One read: Kim forever and ever and ever. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
One read: Get ready for the most pleasurable night of your life, something about opening your legs (my friend told me half of it on the phone, but she said it was so disgusting and was crying at the time so I told her to not read anymore)
Then my friend, while we were on the phone said that she had rung this 'Mic' up, my friends parents are also in their early fifties, but y'know, they're like fit and healthy for their age. And the conversation went like this:
Woman, who sounded older and friendly: Hello?
Friend: Hi, err, is Mick there? (She didn't know if it was Mike or Mick from how it was written)
(5 second pause)
Woman: I, um, think you have the wrong number dear.
Friend: Okay, bye...
She was in fucking TEARS. Seriously, I love this girl so much, it broke my heart. She's my best friend and I so wanted to see her there and then to comfort her but I've never been in one of these positions before and I didn't know how to comfort someone over the phone! But in the end I told her to tell her sister who's away for the weekend and will be coming back on Sunday night who's 17 because she shouldn't deal with this all herself. God, her father seems like so NOT the type who would do anything like this...
ALSO, yesterday night there was like this school event called Presentation Evening, where not everyone, but some people would go if you got good effort marks in a particular subject, I got English, which made me happy. I went, my friend with the parent problem was also meant to go and she told me not to mention anything at the evening about her father and I said I wouldn't and then through the whole 2 tedious hours of sitting in the same seat she didn't arrive and I was going through all these little things that could be happening at that moment and I was scared as hell. I swear. God. BUT I got some good news about that! This guy whose about 17 who's so overly hot and gahh, (none of my friends agree, since he has a bit weird hair and is a bit chubby and apparently has no neck) but yeah, he played a piano piece and I was dying watching him and the whole hall was black except the spotlight on him and I was like <3333 *orgasm*
Rung my friend when I got home from it and she just faked sick, so that was good. Or not.
Then TODAY, I went shopping with my mother and it was actually quite good! She let me blare My Chemical Romance out loud and was fine with it, then when we got to the shopping centre I bought a pair of black skinny jeans, a black top, a white top and a Placebo CD and some sexy Millie's cookies which were sex rolled up into dough. Yeah it was good.
But there was this stupid bitch with this kid when I was standing in this parking space for my mum to come round again, cos she'd crapped something up in the parking lot and the convo went like this:
Me: Oh my mums just coming round again to park in this sorry.
Woman: Wells she's not here.
Me: Yeah, well she's coming so you have to find your own spot I'm afraid.
Woman: Don't get lippy with me!
Me: *stares at her till she drives away*
SAFE! I BEAT HER LIKE WOAH!
Well, that's about it, now I have to be at my other friends house for a birthday sleepover. I got her some weird card with a googly eyed llama and a porn book. xD I'm like too good, yeah?! I really can't be fucked to walk, it's too far, but my mums gone out and wont be back for a while so I have to walk through some fucking town and I'll probally be raped or verbally abused by the time I get to friends house.
Yeah, well, I had a good run.
Thursday, 20 September 2007
i'm not o-fucking-kay
I feel an emo rant coming on. Please excuse all the whining, I'm not usually like this... sometimes.
GAHHH!!!!
I motherfucking needed to let that out, once again, I failed to purchase a life and carried out the exact same routine I do every day. I desperately need to have another one of my 'Seize the Day' days... those are always fun.
*sigh* Todays just sucked, about many things, some which may seem stupid and pointless, but the small things can sometimes seem incredibly important. Well, I just rambled like an idiot today in front of people, looked like shit and I could tell, as I was walking to school people were looking me up and down with disgusted looks on their faces and I just wanted to tell them to 'FUCK OFF!'
I hate people who look down on other people when they ain't the most prettiest thing ever.
The sky was gloomy and spitting, which made my hair frizzy, people ignored me even when I spoke to them. Whenever I have best friends and someone new and interesting comes along they just dump me and while I constantly try to pathetically 'win them back' they just have fun with their new best friend, I mean, I wouldn't care if they still talked to me, but no! They just have to drop me. Trust me, this happens a lot in my life and no surprise it's happening again.
Then, after a while of me crying (shutup) and moping around talking about how my life sucks, I get this 'kick' thing and I just tell myself that they mustn't have been my best friend if they do that, so instead of my trying to talk to them and getting shot down, I talk to other people (and yeah, I do have other friends apart from whoever the 'best friend' is, I'm not that sad). Then guess what, they're like 'WTF?' am I ignoring them or something? Why am I not talking to them?
It's stupid. It really is.
My neck hurts and I have a headache.
And I was thinking today when we were having a great, fun art lesson. My dream is to become a writer, travel the world, see new things, meet new people and fall in love. But, what if I don't get to do any of that?! What if I'm just this stupid, East London girl who works the tills at Asda and goes out on Saturday nights to get drunk and have a quick shag with whoevers offering. I swear, if my life turns out like that, I... I dunno, but God if it does...
Jeez, I just want the weekend to come, my dads going away with his friends for the weekend to go to France, so it'll be, me, my mum and my two brothers. Y'know what I plan on doing for the whole two days? Pig out, listen to music, play Super Mario, watch movies, read comics/books/magazines, watch re-runs of Friends and write/edit my fanfic.
This weekend I refuse to have a life.
That shit can start next week when I will have a 'fresh start'.
*sigh* I'm sorry if (and I doubt it... - THERE I GO AGAIN!) someone's reading this post and is like 'get over yourself, love'. I'm not like this. I'm really not.
GAHHH!!!!
I motherfucking needed to let that out, once again, I failed to purchase a life and carried out the exact same routine I do every day. I desperately need to have another one of my 'Seize the Day' days... those are always fun.
*sigh* Todays just sucked, about many things, some which may seem stupid and pointless, but the small things can sometimes seem incredibly important. Well, I just rambled like an idiot today in front of people, looked like shit and I could tell, as I was walking to school people were looking me up and down with disgusted looks on their faces and I just wanted to tell them to 'FUCK OFF!'
I hate people who look down on other people when they ain't the most prettiest thing ever.
The sky was gloomy and spitting, which made my hair frizzy, people ignored me even when I spoke to them. Whenever I have best friends and someone new and interesting comes along they just dump me and while I constantly try to pathetically 'win them back' they just have fun with their new best friend, I mean, I wouldn't care if they still talked to me, but no! They just have to drop me. Trust me, this happens a lot in my life and no surprise it's happening again.
Then, after a while of me crying (shutup) and moping around talking about how my life sucks, I get this 'kick' thing and I just tell myself that they mustn't have been my best friend if they do that, so instead of my trying to talk to them and getting shot down, I talk to other people (and yeah, I do have other friends apart from whoever the 'best friend' is, I'm not that sad). Then guess what, they're like 'WTF?' am I ignoring them or something? Why am I not talking to them?
It's stupid. It really is.
My neck hurts and I have a headache.
And I was thinking today when we were having a great, fun art lesson. My dream is to become a writer, travel the world, see new things, meet new people and fall in love. But, what if I don't get to do any of that?! What if I'm just this stupid, East London girl who works the tills at Asda and goes out on Saturday nights to get drunk and have a quick shag with whoevers offering. I swear, if my life turns out like that, I... I dunno, but God if it does...
Jeez, I just want the weekend to come, my dads going away with his friends for the weekend to go to France, so it'll be, me, my mum and my two brothers. Y'know what I plan on doing for the whole two days? Pig out, listen to music, play Super Mario, watch movies, read comics/books/magazines, watch re-runs of Friends and write/edit my fanfic.
This weekend I refuse to have a life.
That shit can start next week when I will have a 'fresh start'.
*sigh* I'm sorry if (and I doubt it... - THERE I GO AGAIN!) someone's reading this post and is like 'get over yourself, love'. I'm not like this. I'm really not.
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
rather waste some time with you...
Ahh, todays been quite pleasant.
I spoke to him today. That's probally what made it that little bit nicer. Just this boy that I'm crazily in love with, nah, I dunno what I feel for him. I just think that I like him on a higher level then friends but lower then...then what? Maybe I'm just physically attracted to him, I mean who isn't?
Let's just say he's not too bad on the eyes.
We talked, laughed and 'hafed' each other (inside joke), he once said that I was his best girl, friend. Do I want more then being 'best girl, friend's? I dunno, I mean, I'm 15 going to be 16 soon and I've not ever had a boyfriend. The vast majority of my friends (of both genders) have been in a relationship thats lasted longer then a month and I haven't even kissed a guy yet.
I just feel kinda left out of it all, my friends have constantly talked about how amazing it is, how in love and wanted they felt. I want to feel wanted and in love with someone. Am I missing out on something or is it just over-rated? I mean, I don't feel all guilty when I flirt with other guys and I flirt with him so, maybe it's just a 'phase'.
It probally is.
Trust me, I go through a lot of them.
Hmm, on other subjects...
I went to the orthodontist today, the stupid blonde, Irish woman like sawed my tooth off with this fast-moving device and kept holding my tongue down and I was like, "ged da uck offa me!". Went to Tesco's quickly after that, mum dropped me off at school and I signed in, just in time for first break.
After that I, once again, repeatedly embarrased myself.
We had french where I got this guy told off by this friendly looking, but actually very mean teacher, I just laughed at him... ;) Niiiiceeee!
Then we had dance and we're doing this 'puppet' dance with this Gwen Steffani song (who, I should let you know, I L.O.V.E!) and I flirted with some dude... Playa!
During lunch I had this competition with my friend to see how many hugs we could get in 2 minutes, I ended up from hugging someone to on the floor with my pink girl boxer shorts showing, the culprit, the loser of the hugging game laughing hysterically at my embarrasment.
Had english, picked up younger brother from his school, got home, played on Super Mario (I FOUND OUT HOW TO PASS THE WINNING LEVEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), edited my Mikey Way fanfic, washed hair, conversed with younger brother about how he was an emo (he couldn't watch a Doctor Who repeat which he hadn't seen because had Beevers and was throwing a little girly strop about it) and am currently writing this blog.
Damn, I need a life.
I spoke to him today. That's probally what made it that little bit nicer. Just this boy that I'm crazily in love with, nah, I dunno what I feel for him. I just think that I like him on a higher level then friends but lower then...then what? Maybe I'm just physically attracted to him, I mean who isn't?
Let's just say he's not too bad on the eyes.
We talked, laughed and 'hafed' each other (inside joke), he once said that I was his best girl, friend. Do I want more then being 'best girl, friend's? I dunno, I mean, I'm 15 going to be 16 soon and I've not ever had a boyfriend. The vast majority of my friends (of both genders) have been in a relationship thats lasted longer then a month and I haven't even kissed a guy yet.
I just feel kinda left out of it all, my friends have constantly talked about how amazing it is, how in love and wanted they felt. I want to feel wanted and in love with someone. Am I missing out on something or is it just over-rated? I mean, I don't feel all guilty when I flirt with other guys and I flirt with him so, maybe it's just a 'phase'.
It probally is.
Trust me, I go through a lot of them.
Hmm, on other subjects...
I went to the orthodontist today, the stupid blonde, Irish woman like sawed my tooth off with this fast-moving device and kept holding my tongue down and I was like, "ged da uck offa me!". Went to Tesco's quickly after that, mum dropped me off at school and I signed in, just in time for first break.
After that I, once again, repeatedly embarrased myself.
We had french where I got this guy told off by this friendly looking, but actually very mean teacher, I just laughed at him... ;) Niiiiceeee!
Then we had dance and we're doing this 'puppet' dance with this Gwen Steffani song (who, I should let you know, I L.O.V.E!) and I flirted with some dude... Playa!
During lunch I had this competition with my friend to see how many hugs we could get in 2 minutes, I ended up from hugging someone to on the floor with my pink girl boxer shorts showing, the culprit, the loser of the hugging game laughing hysterically at my embarrasment.
Had english, picked up younger brother from his school, got home, played on Super Mario (I FOUND OUT HOW TO PASS THE WINNING LEVEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), edited my Mikey Way fanfic, washed hair, conversed with younger brother about how he was an emo (he couldn't watch a Doctor Who repeat which he hadn't seen because had Beevers and was throwing a little girly strop about it) and am currently writing this blog.
Damn, I need a life.
Sunday, 16 September 2007
baby, did you forget to take your meds?
Two blogs in one day? What is the World coming to?!
Well, welcome to my life, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
So, my cousins stayed over the last night, I promised myself that I would talk to everyone a bit more instead of staying out with my friends all day, then taking refuge in my room as soon as I arrived home and being an 'anti-social', the words of my mother. Well, honey, promises were made to be broken. So I done what I usually done surfed the net, read comics and listened to Placebo.
Occasionally my Aunt would come upstairs to admire (or laugh at) my collection of posters blue-tacked to my crimson painted wall then look at my face, laugh some more, then walk out the room laughing to go flirt with my father.
I love my family.
Haven't really done that much today, nobody went out seeing as it's 'Family Day', something I don't celebrate (Wow, I sound really nice...). I was stuck in my house all day, I managed to go downstairs to watch a The Simpsons episode with my cousins, so maybe I didn't completely break my promise? ...Then I went back upstairs to read fanfic and listen to a complition CD.
Hmm... I'm kinda bummed, a group of friends and I decided last week that we would all go to this free gym tomorrow evening and get fit. Needless to say, even though I bought some new track pants yesterday, the plans have been cancelled. £7.99 down the drain...
School tomorrow and I always get some weird uneasy feeling on a Sunday evening. The fact that yet another school week is dawning when the last one only finished two days ago. My schedule for tomorrow; english; maths; citizenship (sex education, how I love thee); science and d&t. Shit...
Another week of embarrasing myself, here I come!
Highlight of the week: My sweet-ass Super Mario t-shirt that I purchased at Game for a tenner, even though I told my mum it was only five quid.
Downside of the week: Stupid 'insider' blogs about My Chemical Romance, so Gerards an alcoholic again? And with what proof do you have to back this up? (Though they are rather amusing)
Well, welcome to my life, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
So, my cousins stayed over the last night, I promised myself that I would talk to everyone a bit more instead of staying out with my friends all day, then taking refuge in my room as soon as I arrived home and being an 'anti-social', the words of my mother. Well, honey, promises were made to be broken. So I done what I usually done surfed the net, read comics and listened to Placebo.
Occasionally my Aunt would come upstairs to admire (or laugh at) my collection of posters blue-tacked to my crimson painted wall then look at my face, laugh some more, then walk out the room laughing to go flirt with my father.
I love my family.
Haven't really done that much today, nobody went out seeing as it's 'Family Day', something I don't celebrate (Wow, I sound really nice...). I was stuck in my house all day, I managed to go downstairs to watch a The Simpsons episode with my cousins, so maybe I didn't completely break my promise? ...Then I went back upstairs to read fanfic and listen to a complition CD.
Hmm... I'm kinda bummed, a group of friends and I decided last week that we would all go to this free gym tomorrow evening and get fit. Needless to say, even though I bought some new track pants yesterday, the plans have been cancelled. £7.99 down the drain...
School tomorrow and I always get some weird uneasy feeling on a Sunday evening. The fact that yet another school week is dawning when the last one only finished two days ago. My schedule for tomorrow; english; maths; citizenship (sex education, how I love thee); science and d&t. Shit...
Another week of embarrasing myself, here I come!
Highlight of the week: My sweet-ass Super Mario t-shirt that I purchased at Game for a tenner, even though I told my mum it was only five quid.
Downside of the week: Stupid 'insider' blogs about My Chemical Romance, so Gerards an alcoholic again? And with what proof do you have to back this up? (Though they are rather amusing)
come one, come all, to this tragic affair
Welcome to the life of a clichéd, 15 year old girl.
You've probally read about me before. In books, on the internet, your own imagination maybe.
I'm old news.
The girl with the dark, frizzy hair who sits at the back of the class. The one you dont know, or really care to know, the name of.
A bad conversationalist, hypocritical with a shit fashion sense.
Hanging with an individual selection of friends, the ones who accept her, well, most of the time anyway. The 'drama' that appears in her life, generally blooms from the group of beings she hangs out with day-in, day-out.
Sometimes it can get a bit too much, y'know?
Another warped dreamer who occasionally walks the graffited streets of London. The streets that have bore too much.
Care to hear the over used line of, 'Music's my life' again? Deal with it. It's her medication. You'll constantly find her listenining to the likes of My Chemical Romance, Nirvana, David Bowie, The Used and many more. It'll be pumping through her broken MP3.
She's her own best friend yet her own worst enemy. It's a love/hate relationship, really.
The feeling of replacement is an occasional feeling but something she doesn't really understand. How can you be someones closest friend one day, then nearly nothing the next?
A total contradictor, over-sensitive accompanied with a terrifying laugh.
She holds grudges, yet forgives people to easily. Does this make her two-faced?
Her weekly obsessions and goals are amusing. Seeing how she has no patience to acheive them.
She's not perfect, but who is these days?
But she wouldn't change for nobody ;)
You've probally read about me before. In books, on the internet, your own imagination maybe.
I'm old news.
The girl with the dark, frizzy hair who sits at the back of the class. The one you dont know, or really care to know, the name of.
A bad conversationalist, hypocritical with a shit fashion sense.
Hanging with an individual selection of friends, the ones who accept her, well, most of the time anyway. The 'drama' that appears in her life, generally blooms from the group of beings she hangs out with day-in, day-out.
Sometimes it can get a bit too much, y'know?
Another warped dreamer who occasionally walks the graffited streets of London. The streets that have bore too much.
Care to hear the over used line of, 'Music's my life' again? Deal with it. It's her medication. You'll constantly find her listenining to the likes of My Chemical Romance, Nirvana, David Bowie, The Used and many more. It'll be pumping through her broken MP3.
She's her own best friend yet her own worst enemy. It's a love/hate relationship, really.
The feeling of replacement is an occasional feeling but something she doesn't really understand. How can you be someones closest friend one day, then nearly nothing the next?
A total contradictor, over-sensitive accompanied with a terrifying laugh.
She holds grudges, yet forgives people to easily. Does this make her two-faced?
Her weekly obsessions and goals are amusing. Seeing how she has no patience to acheive them.
She's not perfect, but who is these days?
But she wouldn't change for nobody ;)
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