kiss your ass goodbye

OMGZZZZ SCRUBS IS HILARIOUS!

Just had to say innit.

Well, haven't been on in ages. It's like, I used to be on here too much so I've got tired of it. So whatevs motherfucker.

Guy I like or liked, I don't know, is still going out with that girl. Even though he continually flirts with me, they're apparently 'in love'. Fuck off. You're not.

I don't care if my 'best friend' isn't my best friend anymore, that's her problem or unproblem. I'm also doing a 'Formal Dinner Party' on November 10th with my friend, t'will be hilarious. On November 15th I'm going to see My Chemical Romance at The 02, my seats are RIGHT at the back so basically I'll just be watching television.

Sigh.

Blahblahblah.

you are not alone, i am here with you

Woah, haven't been on in ages.

Good and bad things have happened since I was last on.

Well, let's see, this probably seems trivial. It is. But I'm a girl that takes things personally and to heart, I'm sensitive, a dreamer and over emotional. Ehh, yeah, back on subject. Y'know when you go down someones myspace top friends? Well, like I said either I'm being a bit hormonal today or it's just me but I went down on my 'best friends' who is also mad at me for some reason put me down and the 'Replacer' in my place.

I dunno. I tell myself I don't care but I do.

The guy I like, or tell myself I don't like anymore, he's annoying me really, asked the girl out and now they're going out. On MSN he's always being, "Oh, I miss her so much!" And Im like 'GO FUCKING CALL HER THEN! GO TO HER HOUSE! YOU LAME-ASS BOYFRIEND!' Jeez. Idiot.

I also have a rather fast heartbeat, it's overly shit. I swear, I barely excercise and I snack on unhealthy shit. Though, it's really fucked, cos I'm really slim. Like I have a fine figure, a nice figure, not the biggest boobs, but whatever. I can work that to my advantage in some way.

Also I have these like, stretchmarks, y'know growing marks on my inner thigh but it's visible. They're annoying and... not nice. Anyway, maybe next year me and some people in my school, depends if I get in or not a trip to Germany but there most likely will be too many people going in so it's a raffle and if they draw your name you go... if they don't you don't go. Well, on one of the days there you have to go to some swimming pool with the longest slides in the world and yeah, swimsuit in front of guys and people I hate. Oh God...

Y'know, I cannot wait till I get to go to college, university, travel the world, see new things, meet new people, become a published novelist and fall in love.

...Sigh.

holding too tightly, afraid to lose control...

It's pathetic how I can only really find comfort in things like crappy American telly shows, the computer and books. Seriously, I may be young but I really fucking hate my life at the moment.

Yeah, another 'emo' rant. Get the hell over it.

My 'best friend' (yes, the little quotes again) broke up with her boyfriend of like 3 days. Wow, that lasted pretty long. Correction, he broke up with her. Then with me trying to comfort my friend, the girl that snuck her way in and stole my friend (I sound really pathetic right now) was like, "Oh my gosh! This is all my fault, I can't believe I let her ask him out, I'm so sorry! Move out the way!" Yes, it's all your fault, I mean she's like this guy for about a year and you've actually known her for about a month, who was the one she phoned when she was in trouble? Hmm? And the one she moaned endlessly on the phone to about this boy?

Yeah, fuck off.

Then at lunch I ask my friend to come around my house after school and then she's like, "Oh no, me and (girl who 'stole' her) are going to some café together to talk about my love life."
Me: *laugh* "Well can I come?"
Her: "Erm no. It's just for us two, we're spending time together now, cos we lurve each other! So no" *walks away*

Well thanks then.

Then that guy I like, yeah the one I wrote about the other day? Well, I really like him. My feelings for him have been developing and yeah, we really get on. Earlier today whilst I was sitting next to one of my other friends in PE she was like, "OMG! I really like [the boy I like]. I well fancy him! He keeps hugging me and putting his arms around my waist, it's so cute! Ahh!"
So obviously he does it to everyone. Seriously. I know that, but he does it to EVERYONE!

Then at lunch registration while we were standing behind our seats, I sit next to my 'best friends' ex and he was like, "Sorry for snapping at you earlier..." Cos he did and I was like,
"No, it's okay. It's how you feel and you can't force feelings upon yourself" I wish you could though. But then, the guy I like who sits 2 desks behind me was like to the guy, "I'm gonna do it tomorrow!"
Then he was like, "Okay cool!" I asked what he was going to do and for a split second then I thought he meant ask me out on a date or something. But yeah my imagination.

Then I asked the guy sitting next to me what he was going to do and he said, "He's gonna ask this girl out!" And I was like, "Really...?! That's amazing!" Then when we had to fucking go to English the bastard comes up to me and starts hugging me and flirting again and I'm thinking, 'STOP PLAYING ME AND OTHER GIRLS ON! IT'S GETTING STUPID!' But obviously I don't say that, I'm just like, "So you're gonna ask her out yeah?" And he's nodding and has his arm around my waist and is like what do you think I should say? What do girls like getting as presents? What should I compliment her on? Then when that's finished and he's like "You okay?"
Obviously I'm not and I'm like, "Ehh.. my life sucks."
He's like, "So does mine. Nothing good ever happens." Oh nothing, just that your gonna ask a girl out and you know she's gonna say yes and mean it because she openly says she likes you. Then when we're lining up for english he just hugs me, tells me my hairs nice (because the other day I asked him if my hair was frizzy) and talks about the weather to me... yeah...

I swear just a bijillion more days till high schools over.

Oh and ANYONE, if you hate me I don't care, just comment. My blogs feel lonely.

we have to take our clothes off, to have a good time!

Yesterday, when I went to Chesington Park was actually okay. Yeah, there was this one hot guy in some Iron Maiden shirt who I swooned over. Went on a few roller coasters, had a spazz, etc.

Oh yeah and I also found out how to get to world 4 on Super Mario!! Yes, my life is now complete!

Hmm, today was alright. I once again flirted with some guys and I think I like two guys now, the one from science who I constantly flirt with and apparently with me touching his muscles and flirting with him we both made it look as if we were on a date... in the science labs but whatever, fine by me!

Conversed with two guys and one girl at lunch, had a spazz. Then when we were walking out of the lunch room to go to our form at the end of lunch my friend started talking about giving head and was like, "Oh whats this white sperm doing in my mouth?" And two teachers heard us and were like o_O and we just went away laughing. I had another spazz in my form and just went and sat with the other guy I like and started flirting and hugging and it was jokes.

I'm sorry, do I sound like some slut flirting with these guys? Cos it sounds as if I am cos I've said 'flirting' about 100 times in this blog. Well, I'm not. Seriously.

That's about it really. I cant be bothered to write anymore

I heart you all!

Oh, and we learn how to put a condom on a plastic penis today in sex ed.
Twas fun. Though, with all this fucking contraceptives and how much it hurts that they go on about, it makes it sound like sex is a fucking chore.

fell in love with the girl at the rock show

Ehh, I don't really hate my family. Just dislike them sometimes.

Hmm, what happened on Friday? Chatted to some extremely hot guy during science, was fun. Can't really remember that much. After school, my friend and I were dickheads and ran after this other really hot guy in our year, y'know not in a stalker way... in a jokey way *ahem*

At about 6pm I met up with my friends at the bus stop and we went to this restaurant that I'm totally in LOVE with. Seriously, one day I will make love to that place and marry it. It's like a really cool, New York/Italian restaurant place, kinda like a diner but better, the food is awesome and they play all these good old American songs... All I can remember is Elvis. And the birthday song. That must have come on about 5 times, but I danced along every time. I went with my 3 other friends. When they waitress came along for our meals I got nervous and ordered the wrong thing... some gross green, mushroomy pasta. Sick yeh.

But desert I had Mama's Chocolate Cake: SEX!!!
Totally!!

Then eventually we went home, got the bus back. The girl that's kinda stealing my best friend though I sometimes like her was with us and she's just annoying me (and everyone else) now. Apart from my 'best friend'. Well, I was kinda hyped, drunk on air on the way home with my other friend that went and gave her all these people to walk like (Frank Iero - A ballerina, for example).

Then when we got to our street (we live on the same street) we pretended some fucking T-Rex was after us and ran down till we got to her house and I stayed there till about 11pm or sommat.

Then todayyyy, I was meant to go to Chesington Park today for my younger brothers birthday and was extremely unexcited, but for some reason we didn't go... but we're going tomorrow! Let's hope it rains...

So I went out with my friends and ended up getting poo on my new jeans and had a little spazz about it. Eventually it came off. Joy. Then my best friend (I don't know whether to refer to her as my best friend or as my 'best friend' because she is my best friend it's just confusing, because, I dunno, yeah... I have no idea) asked this guy out that she's been like adoring for the past year, seriously every phone conversation he was mentioned at least 199553243252 times.

He said yes. She was happy. They kissed. I had a spazz. Danced with the man. Gave him 'The Talk'. He was scared.

I kept getting hugs from the very first guy that I wrote about in this blog, remember the one who I said 'I'm in love with him.. Nahh.. It's probably a phase.' Yeah, that one. And it was really cute and it made it look like we were going out with each other, he kept having his arm round me and I rested my head on his shoulder, holding his hand.

We would be so hot together.

Ahh, I love him.

But I bet he don't 'love' me.

Life sucks.

Whatever, apparently he used to like me in like the first year of high school.

I was retarded then.

I still am.

But now, I'm a cool retard.

Yeah, love it babeh.

i hope you choke and you die

I officially hate my family.

Seriously. My 'dad' I always hate. My 'mum' I sometimes hate. My older brother I sometimes hate, but my younger brother I love.

I swear. We're eating dinner (my older brother isn't there) and my younger brother is asking these questions, for some reason I get blamed for making him hyperactive. Then after sticking up for myself, I get told off for annoying everyone when 'dad' has been carrying on for about 10 minutes about how everyone always talks at dinner and how we should all just shut the hell up.

Then I get called evil. My mother steps in, tells him that I'm not evil. Then he says I'm just a selfish little bitch. Then tells me to stop creating a bad atmosphere at the table, I say, actually you started it, blah blah blah.

"GO TO YOUR ROOM! YOU CAN COME DOWN AND EAT YOUR FOOD WHEN EVERYONE ELSE HAS FINISHED, GO NOW! I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR FACE! NO MORE COMPUTER OR TELEVISION PAST EIGHT O CLOCK! LEAVE!"

Wtf?

Like I said; I hate my family.

un-break my heart, say you love me again, un-do this hurt that you caused!

Wooooah bitches! Today has been surprisingly bloody fantastic!

I woke up at like 7:45 giving me about 15 minutes to get ready for school, I really need to wake up earlier but whatever, I got to my friends house on time and the walk there was hilarious. It was me and these two other girls. We were bare hyped.

We were crossing this main road and then this van came speeding down and my friend decided she could make it and got to the other side of the road and started laughing hilariously, then I decided I could make it if I ran, I tried too, but my other friend was like "NOOO! YOU'LL DIE!" So yeah, that happened. Then up the road a bit, I missed some dog crap by an inch or something and I just like died laughing for some reason.

The rest of the day was full of laughing, acting like a spaz and flirting... The flirting ;) I love it!

I dunno, I'm starting to like this other guy and I have liked him for a while now. He's the kinda guy where I don't get stuck for conversation with like I do with some other guys. He says I'm 'safe' and shizz. He's gorgeous. BUT, there's a problem. There's always a problem. I've liked him for a couple of weeks now but only a couple of days ago my friend told me she really likes him and she told him, he said sorry, but I don't like you (in kinder words), but she will NOT give up! And keeps telling me to talk about her to him and I can't stop flirting with the guy! It's too hard!

But we would never go out with one another, never. It's like I'm part of the so-called 'grunger/emo' crowd and he's part of the popular, sporty crowd. He's not a chav but he has chavvy friends, but whatever, so do I! But like, I dunno, I really like him and it's so hard not to kiss him even though I don't know how!

He's great! On photo day a week ago or something we have this stupid, popular, 'pretty' chavvy/preppy girl in our science class (the only class we share but we talk outside of it, the boy and I, I mean) and she put like foundation, fake-tan, blusher, eyeliner, mascara, Vaseline, concealer, eyeshadow, lipstick and lip gloss on. It's bad, terribly bad. Though most guys don't seem to think so *eye roll*. Then to me and a few other people he was like, "God, what does she look like? She told me she never wears make-up, she looks stupid." Which is pretty good for a popular dude.

Then to me he was like, "You don't wear much make-up do you?"
And I was like, "Well, I wear a bit sometimes, but I can't be fucked to put on concealer because it just makes spots more obvious..." I mean, I don't have acne, but I get the regular spots, especially around my 'time of the month' but on other times it's like 'WOAH! YOUR SKIN... IT'S AMAZING!' But when I'm on my period it's like 'AGHHH!!!' But anyway, then he was like "Yeah, I understand it, it just makes them worse. No make-up is better."

And I was like, "Have I ever told you I Love You?"
And then he was like, "No, but- but, oh c'mere!" Then we snogged and made love in the science labs. It was sexy.

...Oh my fantasy's!

Anyway, other then that, the only other clear memory about today in my mind was what happened after school. My friend and me were walking home from school to her house, then when we got there (none of her family was in the house) we heard footsteps and a bang of doors from upstairs and like looked at each other, unlocked the door and ran out the house screaming, it was effing hilarious! But my friend was oh-so freaked! Then these guys we know came and they were like, "WE WILL SAVE THE DAY!" But yeah, they were also pussy's and ran down the stairs screaming like some little girls when they heard a bang of doors. This happened about 10 times.

It turned out to be the fucking bathroom door slamming open and closed from the open window.

But that was hilarious, then after we just sat watching MTV and Kerrang! on the telly, drinking a good cuppa and bitching about girls.

Seriously, there's this girl and she has big boobs. Fact. Guys go up to her and like flirt and perv on her, she's like "OMG! STOP IT!" But lets them carry on and it's getting fucking ridiculous, it's like, God, they do it to EVERYONE, even me and my boobs aren't that big! If you don't like it walk away and tell them to leave you alone. Then they stop. It works for everyone.

Jeez.

Oh and one more thing about this whole GWay business, (I swear, my writing about it will not become a regular thing, I don't wanna contradict myself about the whole business) but I was thinking and it's like the bloggers want there to be drama, they post all the time and it's like, they want stuff to happen... I dunno, I'm not them, they might not want it. It's their lives. End. I will not write again... or y'know, I might!

Loverz you dudes!