holding too tightly, afraid to lose control...

It's pathetic how I can only really find comfort in things like crappy American telly shows, the computer and books. Seriously, I may be young but I really fucking hate my life at the moment.

Yeah, another 'emo' rant. Get the hell over it.

My 'best friend' (yes, the little quotes again) broke up with her boyfriend of like 3 days. Wow, that lasted pretty long. Correction, he broke up with her. Then with me trying to comfort my friend, the girl that snuck her way in and stole my friend (I sound really pathetic right now) was like, "Oh my gosh! This is all my fault, I can't believe I let her ask him out, I'm so sorry! Move out the way!" Yes, it's all your fault, I mean she's like this guy for about a year and you've actually known her for about a month, who was the one she phoned when she was in trouble? Hmm? And the one she moaned endlessly on the phone to about this boy?

Yeah, fuck off.

Then at lunch I ask my friend to come around my house after school and then she's like, "Oh no, me and (girl who 'stole' her) are going to some café together to talk about my love life."
Me: *laugh* "Well can I come?"
Her: "Erm no. It's just for us two, we're spending time together now, cos we lurve each other! So no" *walks away*

Well thanks then.

Then that guy I like, yeah the one I wrote about the other day? Well, I really like him. My feelings for him have been developing and yeah, we really get on. Earlier today whilst I was sitting next to one of my other friends in PE she was like, "OMG! I really like [the boy I like]. I well fancy him! He keeps hugging me and putting his arms around my waist, it's so cute! Ahh!"
So obviously he does it to everyone. Seriously. I know that, but he does it to EVERYONE!

Then at lunch registration while we were standing behind our seats, I sit next to my 'best friends' ex and he was like, "Sorry for snapping at you earlier..." Cos he did and I was like,
"No, it's okay. It's how you feel and you can't force feelings upon yourself" I wish you could though. But then, the guy I like who sits 2 desks behind me was like to the guy, "I'm gonna do it tomorrow!"
Then he was like, "Okay cool!" I asked what he was going to do and for a split second then I thought he meant ask me out on a date or something. But yeah my imagination.

Then I asked the guy sitting next to me what he was going to do and he said, "He's gonna ask this girl out!" And I was like, "Really...?! That's amazing!" Then when we had to fucking go to English the bastard comes up to me and starts hugging me and flirting again and I'm thinking, 'STOP PLAYING ME AND OTHER GIRLS ON! IT'S GETTING STUPID!' But obviously I don't say that, I'm just like, "So you're gonna ask her out yeah?" And he's nodding and has his arm around my waist and is like what do you think I should say? What do girls like getting as presents? What should I compliment her on? Then when that's finished and he's like "You okay?"
Obviously I'm not and I'm like, "Ehh.. my life sucks."
He's like, "So does mine. Nothing good ever happens." Oh nothing, just that your gonna ask a girl out and you know she's gonna say yes and mean it because she openly says she likes you. Then when we're lining up for english he just hugs me, tells me my hairs nice (because the other day I asked him if my hair was frizzy) and talks about the weather to me... yeah...

I swear just a bijillion more days till high schools over.

Oh and ANYONE, if you hate me I don't care, just comment. My blogs feel lonely.